As a youngster I had a lovely upbringing among the Crimson grapevines of Chile. I grew nice and dark and fat.
Then I was picked. Me, and my close friends, were selected as a bunch – a most succulent bunch I must admit – and gently cleaned and packaged. We were on our way – to great things we were sure. Our journey was quite long – and rather chilly. That was no problem as far as we were concerned – it could be pretty chilly in our vineyard in Chile after all.
We arrived safe and sound and pretty soon we were cleaned, packed and off we went to one of those super stores of Tesco. There me, and the rest of my bunch, were put on display – we were so proud. In fact I think I may have glowed – in a gentle way you understand. We were not there long, though. Some nice lady picked us up. She gazed at me and the rest of my bunch and I heard her murmur ‘these look rather nice’. Boy – were we chuffed as she placed us in her trolley! When she got to her house we were popped into her ‘fridge and there we sat. Every so often a light came on as she opened the door of our new home, but we stayed where we were. It was quite cosy – all of us still together after so much travel. Our bunch talked about our journey and what the future held for us. Most wanted to move on to be part of a tasty dish or snack. I set my sights higher. I wanted to see this new world first.
Anyway – this morning I got my chance. The lady of the house took us out and started to select the best of our bunch to be a part of her breakfast. That was my chance. She picked us all up to give us a shower under her tap. I wriggled and escaped!
I jumped from her hand, down onto her worktop and quickly rolled under her George Foreman griller. She felt around underneath it but I hid behind the electric cable and she couldn’t find me.
Then I heard another voice – a young voice calling ‘Mummy’. She placed the rest of the bunch in a dish and went to see who was calling.
Me? I’M FREE! I have made the GRAPE ESCAPE! Do you think they will make a film about me?
In reality I had no such luck. ‘Mummy’ came back before I had decided what to do next. She tidied up the work surface – and moved ‘George Foreman’. I was exposed but, before anything more happened, ‘Mummy’ was called away again.
I had one last chance – and I TOOK IT. I was quite close to the edge of the worktop and just a little wriggle dropped me over the edge. I hit the floor and rolled towards the table.
It was then that I discovered that Timmy, their dog, likes Crimson Grapes!